After the Martian's victory at Bedford the Martians pushed on towards London so they could crown themselves rulers of Britain.
"Is this railway line the only way to get to London?" asked Martian 1.
"Yes, they don't have canals here, at least not proper ones. The humans fill their canals with water, the fools." said Martian 2 as the tripod moved towards their next target - Flitwick - a non descript human slum on the way to London.
"What do you mean fill their canals with water? How stupid is that? How do they go up hills? Mars! humans are dense"
Martian 2 replied "They have this elaborate set of machinery so they can drain water from uphill and catch it going down hill and then move their floating carts with the water. It is horribly complicated and if they had any brains they would have dry canals to make it easier. The Big Head said that once we are established we will drain all the canals or turn them into floating places - to get some relief from this hideous gravity!"
The Martians moved into sight of Flitwick - In the large Tripod the crew cut the chatter and they reported back to base - "It doesn't seem defended. There are some of those horse soldiers on the hill behind the town and a couple of carts running away. Not large guns. Piece of cake. We are moving into the town!"
On the hill behind Flitwick, the Cavalry Captain turned to the operative from Her Majesty's Department of Dirty Deeds (DODD), "do you think it will work?". "I hope so, the canons damaged them at Bedford, so the theory is good. It certainly worked in Afghanistan." Before the Captain could ask anymore the Martians started to advance.
The Martians advance while the two wagons run for cover. |
One of the wagons doesn't make it. |
The Martians enter the town, it seems to be undefended. |
The mines go off. Seemingly innocent barrels have been filled with gunpowder! Explosions ripple down the street destroying the Martian Tripods. |
The Martians get off a single destress call and then all goes quiet. |
The man from DODD surveys his handiwork - Her Maj will be amused! |
A win for the British! But the Martian juggernaut rolls onto Luton.
“No large guns. Piece of cake.” Martians eat cake?
ReplyDeleteNice work giving them Tripods a bit of Biffo! Excellent!
😃
Thanks Captain. Of course they eat cake :) Yellow Cake!
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